Everyone goes through shit.
It’s natural. It’s a part of life.
Yet somehow these painful and shitty experiences are the most influential and informative in our lives. We run into roadblocks and can’t make any headway. In the moment, it seems like there’s no way out and no way to get over it. Yet fast forward a year in time and we can look back, reflecting on those moments.
They push us harder. These crappy situations give us a certain determination and grit that otherwise, we wouldn’t have.
We’ve got nothing to lose.
That’s what we can feel anyways. Nothing has gone right for us, things can’t possibly get worse, so why would we bother worrying about anything we could lose? In our mindset, it’s already gone.
Still, there’s something interesting going on here. I’ve noticed it in my own life and even in the attitudes of people that I spend time with at school. They’ve gone through crap things in their lives that I could never imagine happening to myself. It’s a different perspective, looking into the lowest aspects of someone’s life.
Going through crap brings people together.
For some reason, that always seems to be a default icebreaker that everyone uses when they meet each other? Especially if they’re spending a lot of time together thereon after. Once a first name basis is established, it seems that our sob stories and shit boxes come out. I’m guilty, I’ve done it myself.
But why do we do it?
It’s a good question! But to be honest the answer isn’t the clearest thing in the world. I can’t speak for everyone out there, but I can give you my take on it and how it helped me.
When I was in the dumps, going through a severe breakup, struggling in school and overall lost as a human…everyday was a shit day. Even on the brightest and sunniest of days, with the warmest weather and the coolest breeze, my head was covered in clouds and gloom. In the moment, I felt like I couldn’t escape. It was long and it was tough and to be quite honest, I didn’t feel like there was anywhere I could go.
Those were long days.
But I turned myself around. I changed my thinking. I thought of what I was going through not as a punishment for my shortcomings, but rather an opportunity to learn.
Negative experiences were an opportunity to learn.
That’s what really helped me. I knew this was a shitty thing I was going through and even though at the time it didn’t seem like I would get to the end of it, subconsciously, somewhere inside I did. This is the beautiful thing about negative emotions and experiences. The more we feel them, the less we want to be associated with them.
We all know what it feels like to be at our lowest.
And we never want to go back there! If you have an especially bad breakup, you never want to go through it again! You wouldn’t even wish your own experiences on your worst enemy. Sometimes, they’re that bad.
If you’d do anything to keep from going back to your lowest, you’re already on the way to accepting negative experiences in your life. Like I said, they’re shit and they’re a part of life. There’s no way to get around that.